Dear E

                                                                                                                           May 2
Dear E,

I just wish you were here right now so I could tell you this,

I  am your home and I am going to miss you so much. I am going to miss the little things you do like calling me Papi or Baby. I am going to miss being able to hold you, kiss you, everything about you. You just don't know what you do to me; every time I see you I feel complete, every time you smile I feel bliss, every time I talk to you it makes my day. But not knowing if I'll ever hold you, look into your eyes and kiss you again scare's the hell out of me.

My heart aches at the thought of not being with you. I cherish the time we spend together - every laugh, every kiss, talking, putting our hands together. I cherish you, I am beyond lucky and I'm so glad I found you. I would give anything just for you to be in my arms; without you I feel so empty. When I'm with you there is just this feeling, my heart starts to beat faster I just feel so good like I can fly. It's like all the love flows through me.

When you come back to me to hold you, I will feel so complete and I will love holding you and I will never want to let go. I want to hold you and tell you everything's going to be okay, I want to comfort you. I know you have been hurt before and so have I and I never want to hurt you. I want to hold you and make the bad feelings go away, yours and mine. I want to hold you and make you feel safe, protected, supported, loved. When I am going to hold you it's like nothing else matters except you and me…I want to take you to a place, where time stops and there's nothing to worry about except you and me - the important things in life. I want to talk more about you and the troubles you're going through so I can help you, even more, I want to be with you so you can forget them and put your mind at ease so you don't stress out about everything.

We have all the time in the world to talk or do whatever. I wish I could take you somewhere just you and me so we could relax and be free and forget about all our troubles. So I can treat you like a you are like you are my queen, the way you should always be treated. You are my queen. How can I tell you, you mean more to me than life itself? I love you more than life and each passing day. Just loving you has its own rewards, I never want to fight or argue with you, I just want to love you.

Every time I'm away from you I feel so empty. I think that's why I push for us to be together when you don't have any free time. It is unbearable, all these miles away from you feeling empty inside, wanting to fly to you but can't because of our schedules, I feel so bad because of that. I am just trying to make up for lost time. I wanted to be with you so bad it hurts. Each minute away from you feels like an eternity. I am so far gone in love with you.

I hurt when you hurt, when you're sad I feel it. When you're depressed I'm depressed. I love you so much and I don't hate when you're sad, I want you to be happy like you have made me and I'm so glad I found you. I would do anything to see you smile. I wish I could take away all the troubles in your life. But all I can do is comfort you and support you and be here if you need me, but I wish I could do more for you. I want/need to help you.

Love is not just saying I love you or something to that special person, it's so much more than that. It's helping, supporting, being there for them, standing by their side no matter what happens and doing anything you can for them, forgive and forget whatever mistakes they made and that's what I want to do for you, Babe. I wish I could hold you and comfort you and make you feel comfortable and happy. I can only hope the things I do, say and write bring you happiness like you have given me. You are my heart and if I can do anything to please you, I will.

You mean so much to me and I'm lucky to have you. I cherish the ground you walk on, I cherish everything about you, and I cherish you. You mean everything to me, you are special to me and you make me so happy and I feel so free when I'm around you. You're always on my mind. I think of you everyday, sometimes when I see something or hear a song, I think of you.

I think about you all the time and I worry about you. I always wonder how you feel, how you're doing, what you're doing. I don't want you to have to go through that alone, you may think you have to go at that alone but that's not true. I'm here to help you, I want to support you and I worry about that. I don't want you to worry or be depressed or be stressed out about something. I want to help you and comfort you; I want to try to make you as happy as you make me. You mean the world to me. All I want to do is hold you and love you and make all your troubles go away, I wish I could tell you this in person.

I just want to make you so happy, so happy that you would feel as though you could fly. Babe, let's make this work, lets find a way to make our dreams a reality. To live together, to get married, have children, grow old, and love each other like each day is our last.  I need you ... my heart needs you and I feel so empty without you.

Love always,

S.