Short story

There lived a family in a beautiful White House in the deep state of South Carolina.   They were a hard working family of farmers who have been working the crops since 1800s. The mother was a beautiful brown Curley haired woman named Ellen Keatting. She was married to a hard working man named Matthew Keatting. He was a farmer and was also in the United States Army. They had four kids and was expecting one more. Amelia was 12 years old, she was the oldest. She resembled her mother so much. Theodore and Brian were twin brothers 8 years old both cheerful and full of hopes and dreams. Baby Hailey she was the youngest 2 years old and was the cutest baby that you could imagine. She had dark brown Curley hair, beautiful oak eyes that could break her fathers heart and made his world. They were expecting to have one more girl and planed to name her Marie. Ellen was excepted to have her fifth child in only a few weeks. 

The White House was a old style two story wrap around porch with Tall White columns wrapped around the porch. It had  7 rooms, 5 bathrooms, a beautiful open kitchen, a classic den as you walked in the front door on the left, a large dining room on the right. It sat on a 200 acre lot. 

The family was a happy, polite hard working family. They loved to work the land that was passed down for many generations. The father would take his two  boys on the tractor to plow the lands and walk them true the tall rows of corn and wheat. The boys loved to work with their father. Theodore had rough hands like his father and felt the crops as they would walk. He would say “ I can feel the soul of the earth thru our crops”. His father knew he would love the farm just like he does. Brian had softer hands like his mother. He would slowly watch for animals that lived in the crops and would love to feed them. He would say “ the animals that line here protect us and I will protect them”. His father believed he has his mothers love for animals and would be a great man to nurture the animals that live on this earth. 

As the men would walk the crops, Ellen would show her daughter Amelia how to prepare the food to support the family stomachs and to help with any thing that needed to be done. Amelia loved to play the piano and had a great ear for music and loved literature like her mother. Little baby Hailey would like to stare outside and say mommy I want to explore the world and had the eye for adventure. The kids were all bright and knew about loving each other well. 

The family would always go to the crops on Sunday after church and would walk to there favorite spot on the river to have a picnic. Amelia and her mother would prepare chicken salad, beans and rice with Sazon, adobo, and sofrito, with a y’all pitcher of Sweet tea. The kids would play in the river as Matthew and Ellen later in the blanket and watched them laugh and scream with joy. 

A quiet happy family in a small far off town in the heart of the south. True southerners who loved to care for the earth and cared about family more than anything.

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Essay

My Experience at the Basic Leader Course

My first impression when I was coming to the Basic Leader Course (BLC) was
indifference; I thought it was going to be another school that the Army was
implementing for my Army preparation as a soldier. According to the Army, BLC is the
first leadership course noncommissioned officers (NCOs) attend. BLC is a month-long
course that teaches Specialists and Corporals the basic skills needed to lead small
groups of Soldiers. This course is hard-hitting and intensive with an emphasis on
leadership skills and prepares Soldiers to advance to the rank of Sergeant
(goarmy.com). BLC is a mandatory portion of the Army’s Select Train Educate
Promoted (STEP) Program that ensures that anyone that desires to be a
noncommissioned officer with a pathway to successfully become one. As a junior
enlisted Soldier, and future NCO, successfully passing BLC and taking the knowledge I
gained here is one of the major short-term goals of my Army Career.

Why is it important to attend the Basic Leader Course? After all, is it just a
simple school that is mandated by the Army? After attending BLC I realized I was
wrong about it, and that BLC is excellent training necessary to begin the initial
development of junior NCOs. The various dynamics that the instructors implement in
each class create a solid learning environment for the foundational skills of NCOs.
Each phase that I went through impacted me on both a personal and professional level,
which enabled me to understand the importance of the noncommissioned officer and
the responsibilities of the job. The two classes that had the largest impact on me were Master Resilience Training (MRT) and Followership and Servant Leadership
(Army.com)

.
Master Resilience Training (MRT) is a resilience-training program that is offered
by the United States Army. The goal of the program is to teach Soldiers about
resilience and to train those Soldiers to teach other Soldiers about resilience as well
(positivepsychology.com). In my two years of experience as an active-duty Soldier, the
MRT training I have received at BLC has been by far the most comprehensive. I didn’t
have to watch the old MRT videos or have to read a PowerPoint with 75 slides talking
about resilience. The instructor introduced an open and judgment-free environment and
started the class by opening up about himself and talking about his own experiences in
life. The class turned out to be encouraging and realistic; it was the kind of class that
made me open up about myself to others and discuss my personal struggles as a
Soldier. That encouragement enabled other individuals to speak up, in turn, and
allowed them to be more understanding and empathetic towards others.
Followership is the capacity or willingness to follow a leader (merriam-
webster.com).

This class was very instructive because it helped me to understand my
role as a future NCO and to better develop myself as a leader. The instructors made
the class very understandable and professional, allowing me to think critically about who
I am as a Soldier. Am I a follower, or I am a leader? Do I have the characteristics to be
a leader at all? After having time to analyze myself, I came to the conclusion that I had
to be a follower to learn from others first, before eventually becoming the leader I am
today. After taking some time to reflect, I arrived at the conclusion that I have to be a
good listener to learn from my subordinates and that would also help me become the leader I want to be. Yes, I do have the qualities to be a great leader. I must continue to
lead by example and learn from my experiences and mistakes to become an NCO I can
be proud of.

In conclusion, I would like to say that I’m very thankful for my experience here at
the Basic Leadership Course. I learned a lot from this course and I will use all the
knowledge I gained from my instructors and my experience here throughout my Army
career. My mentality is not the same as a junior enlisted Soldier anymore. I will be
graduating with the mindset of a noncommissioned officer, ready to lead, develop and
be more empathetic with my future soldiers. As a future noncommissioned officer: “I will
not forget, nor will I allow my comrades to forget that we are professionals,
noncommissioned officers, leaders!” (www.army.mil)

Una carta con una pesima otografia pero con miles sentimiento!!!

Te preguntas pq este chico q te hiso mal algún día te habla. Pues si... pero no lo hago para mal. Eh buscado las mil maneras de seguir adelante como tanto me pediste la verdad por una manera diferente lo hise pero por la otra no. Aun no entiendo en mi corazón como dejar ir a la persona q amamos por amor. Me haces falta las 24 horas del día. Se q estas molesta y te entiendo. Te pido disculpas en la situación q te puse con tu mama.( lo cual creo injusto y moriré diciéndolo) pero si algún día nuestros caminos se cruzan te gritaré en la cara te lo dije. Te seré sincero si me gusta tarea q pasara eso. Desearía poder verte una vez más sentirte una vez más eres el amor de mi vida mi mejor amiga coño eso solo tu lo tienes. Por favor no me odies por lo q hice. Por favor dime q no te rendiste. Si aprendiste algo bueno de mi por favor q sea eso no lo malo. Te dije hace tres años q yo nunca te dejaría ni te dejaría de amar por favor no me llames mentiroso pq aun así aquí lo hago en estas letras pongo mi corazón. Para mi no a sido fácil y se q para ti menos. Se q cambiastes tu # esta bien eso i guess. Me tienes bloqueado de todas partes esta bien i guess. Pero dime tu... romeo aun así cuando los papas no la querían con Julieta encontraban la manera de verse y amarse y decir se sus piropos y sus votos? Claro q si y si aprendí algo de esa novela es q el así amor es así es una vez en la vida no lo dejes ir. 

Ester te amo siempre lo e dicho por favor nunca lo olvides. Sigue adelante. Si no es conmigo con el q sea o sola pero puñeta no te quites pq yo no me quite estoy aquí, sufro tu partida sufro la distancia y si espero algún fía volver a tenerte en mis brazos. Como tu dices. Por favor ora mucho para q dios nos de la fortaleza a los dos. Y esperaba saber q hibas al army. No se si aun lo piensas.

 

No te molesto mas. 

Tengo tantas cosas q deseo decirte q mejor me las reservaré si fuera mudo explotó. 

Pero q puedo decir amoa S. 

La Escritora

La Nerd 

La Enfermera

 

Att CJ

 

Espero no molestarte. 

My last letter to you

Dear CJ.

Buenos días,

No vuelvas a escribirme, fui muy clara en mi último mensaje y deseo continuar con mi vida con total normalidad. No tengo que discutir ningún acuerdo contigo, fui muy clara en los últimos meses y no quiero seguir llenando un ilusión que no tiene ningún sentido. Deseo que respetes mi desicion y dejes de buscarme. No vuelvas a decir que puedes controlarme porque siempre se te ha sido muy difícil hacer eso y siempre he sido indomable para ti. 

Ya fue suficiente para ambos. 

Gracias, 

Con total seriedad 

S.

Dear S.

There are no words to describe the meaning you have to me or how much you impact my life. There's this angel I know very little about. But in time, I will truly get to know who this wonderful person is. Just by looking into her soul through her brown crystal clear eyes and contagious laugh did I truly see her for who she is. Now, all that it takes to make me happy is the thought of you because, your voice has become a soothing nurse to my being, your kiss shows the heavenly memories of what our best moments that are yet to come hold, and your touch writes words that leave evidence of unyielding love beyond comprehension. I will forever love you to my very last breath.

With love,

B.

Letter Tres

Today I woke up feeling happy and in love. Do you know why I woke up feeling this
way? because you were by my side, with your snoring, your drool in my neck and your breath
pinking my cheek. I woke up with a man who, although he seems like a complete idiot, is the
most wonderful man of my life, of course after my father. A man who is intelligent, funny,
funny, a man who irritates me and drives me crazy.

A man who is capable of everything and who has the confidence to do great things. A man who although totally clueless and disorganized
keeps me in love. I love you for who you are, for your good qualities and so bad ones. I see both,
even if you don't believe it.

You make me a better person; my temper has improved and my way of talking to you
too. Every day I feel that I can open to you and be more expressive. I love you even if you do not
understand why my feelings. You are important to me and I want you to know my love.

PS. I will miss you all day.

See you later,

With a lot Amore


S.

Letter 2

Dear T,

Today I woke up happy, because you were by my side. Waking up in your arms is the
best feeling in the world. I feel protected and safe. Thank you for taking care of me in my
dreams. Yesterday was a different and busy day. We had a misunderstanding and we could solve
it without any problem. I believe that this relationship has a future, if both work hard. I admit
that I feel insecure and comfortable with certain things, but I try to improve. Please, my love be
patient. I know that I am a difficult and complicated woman, but I want this more than anything.
I want to give you my love and my support.

PS. Sonnet 48

With all my love,

S.

Dear Bed

Dear,

Since I remember the bed is one of the most mysterious places where I have been.
It is where I have suffered, cried, groaned with pleasure and even come to touch the
stars. Our bed is special and is not like any bed I have slept on. I don't say it because of
its technological advances, or because it can cool or heat on its own. Nor is it because it
is an orthopedic bed. It is the bed that has seen us grow and improve as a couple. Our
bed has our sweat, tears and corporal fluids. I know its disgusting but in such a short
time we have left our mark on this bed, not only physical but also emotional.

The first time I saw our bed, I was not your girlfriend. I was a stranger to you, a
confused girl, too worried and afraid of you. Yes, the first time I saw our bed was scared
to the point I felt it in the core of my bones. I was afraid of the man in front of me. The
man who had hurt me for months, a man who at that time I believed unable to love me.
The creature that had been sent from hell to punish me for my sins. I was afraid to
succumb to your desires, your skin and your being but to my surprise, your intentions
were different. You just wanted to sleep with me in that expensive bed. The first seconds
in that bed were the longest in my life, I did not want to touch you or feel you by my
side, I tried to hide my fear and sadness but when I am with you it is very difficult to
hide my feelings.

After the seconds were eternal and the silence was uncomfortable for us, you took
me in your arms, you sheltered me in your warm chest. At that moment I understood
that you were not the same, I understood that you were a stranger to me and that you
were afraid of me, the situation and the bed. That I was not the only broken and
miserable person in the room.

I didn't understand why you feel guilt, why you felt that way but today I
understand. It took me a long time to understand why you was a terrible person towards
to me. I don't remember who was the first person to start crying, but we both did it. We
cry for the pain, the rage, the hate, the guilt and for the damn love we felt for each other.
I must admit that I try to hate you and stop loving you. I tried, I tried to replace you
every time you broke my heart. That night I understood that I could never stop loving
you even if I try all my life. I would still love you even if you broke me in a billion pieces.

I know this letter sounds sad and miserable, but it is my letter to you and so were
the events of that first time in our bed, my love.

It took me a little time to feel comfortable and sleep in your arms, but I did. To be
honest I slept like I had never slept in my life. In your arms I felt that I was returned to
home. I felt in complete peace. It was such a peace that I wanted to return to your arms,
every night after the first time I felt more nervous, I felt less pain and hate towards you.
I felt an imaginable desire for you, I wanted to feel you. I wanted to feel your body, your
heart and your soul. Feel you for the first time. Feel your lips on mine, feel your hands
on my hips and feel your penis inside me.
I wanted love from you, T.
You gave yourself to me in that bed. I felt you, I kissed you, I forgive you and I fell
more in love with you. You don't see Love ? After that night, I wanted to be by your
side forever.
After that night, we also forgot why that bed was important. There were occasions that I
felt alone and cold. I felt miserable again in our bed and I tried everything not to return
to our bed. I hated feeling lonely, cold and misunderstood.

We began to argue more, to tell each other horrible things and we stopped being that
couple that loved each other in that special bed. We stopped caring or showing love, and
I let my fear to control me and I left 2 times. You didn’t know how to bring me back to

you, your indifference pushed me to other path. After that time, without seeing each
other, I thought it was all over. I started feeling better and making plans. I started to
concentrate my energy and my time on other people, instead you couldn't let me go so
easily. You came back to me, this time you promised not to let me go, stay in my life
even if I didn't want to.

You accepted my whimsical and my demands without complaints or
inconvenience. You showed me more of you and you allowed me to see the true person
you are. A person who feels and suffers, a man who knows what he wants, a man willing
to fight for what he loves and desires. A man of convictions, principles and above all
with hidden abilities. Yes, you are a mystery to me. You are funny, incredible, intelligent,
bright and arrogant. You can be as cold as winter and warm as heat in a spring morning.
You are also afraid and insecure like me, and your imagination can let your jealousy fly.

After a few days we return to our bed, to that special and broken place. I no
longer remember how the discussion happened but without predicting it you asked me
to be yours. The way you asked me was the most surprising thing, the disappointment,
confusion and anger we felt for each other while we were lying in our bed. You
convinced me to return to your side, with a title, but not royalty. You accepted me as
your partner and you also accepted my way of being. After that 8th of November…

We have had our ups and downs, discussions and solutions. I have rarely gone to
sleep sad or miserable. Every morning I wake up with you by your side, I play with your
hair, kiss your face and your lips. I touch your back and try to count your thousands of
freckles. Sometimes we have made love, sex and war in this bed. We have fought and
shouted at each other. You hugged me while I cried, you brought me back to reality after
saving me from nightmares. We have told secrets and truths. We have played and
experimented with our body, our hearts and our minds.

Although we are upset with each other we always return to that place, our safe
place. This bed is my safe heaven, it is where I always want to have you and it is where I
want to wake up by your side. I don't want to wake up with anyone else by my side, I
want to feel your angry lion snoring in my ear. I want to feel how you squeeze me when
you hold me in your sleep, I want to feel your penis pressed against my butt in the
middle of the night.

Do you have never wondered why I have never slept again in the barracks even
though I can be furious and full of rage because of you. It is because I promised never to
go back to sleep in a bed other than ours, I promised myself to always sleep by your side,
despite everything. To fight for US no matter how horrible things are. I promised to
express myself more, say what I think and feel even if it is good and bad.
Why?
Because I love you, Idiot! And you are worth fighting.
Please understand why I make you to go to bed with me, even for a few seconds.
The reason I wait for you in bed and why I always stay in bed after 0530 in Saturday
morning and my reason to be dedicated it to US.

PS. I’m going back to bed, to sleep by your side or maybe to play with your hair.
With Love,

S.

LETTER 1

Dear Lover,

I love you with all my heart. Every day I am very happy by your side. I want to grow by your
side and be the best person for you. I want to wake up with you every morning, with your
snoring in my ear, feel your warmth on my back and feel your lips on mine when I wake up. I
want to learn from you and love you freely.

Ps. Is 0936, time to get up and started cleaning baby.

With love,

Your B.M.,
Your annoying girlfriend,
And your Wifey.

S.

From the bottom of my heart

Dear E


While sometimes we may questions things in life, deep inside, I know you are the only one for me. When I’m away from you, you are the one that is continuously on my mind. Everything about you, from the way you act, to the way you love, tells me that I can be with you forever and never get tired of you. It is you that I want to sit next to as we are aging and it is you I want to rest next to. You are the only one who can make me feel the way you do. Only you are able to make me feel as if time stops when I am with you. Only you can be the one to straighten me out and chase my fears away. For this, I am forever grateful and look forward to the life we will be living together.
Understand that there are some things in life that are inevitable. I am powerless and cannot control those things. Yet, the sun will rise and set, the tide will continue, the seasons will continue to change and I will continue to love you.
From the moment I first saw you, I knew that our friendship was going to blossom into something bigger. You are the one true love in my life – the one I have been blessed with and I wouldn’t do anything to change that. You are the warmth I need to keep me away from this dark world.
I am the same person I have always been and yet, the friendship I discovered with you has grew into something bigger and better and has changed my life. I understand this love we have will require time and attention and I am perfectly fine with that. Yes, we have our down times, but we have more ups than downs.
You know, while thinking, I discovered there is something mysterious about this relationship between you and I. This relationship is almost a thing in itself and yet, it is something no one can see or touch. Because of you, I have seen good changes in me and that is something no one else was able to do. I am interested in more things because you are interested in those things – I am sharing so much with you and have told you things I would have never told anyone else. You have helped me change, grow and expand and I thank you for this. I am a much better person because of you – you are the one who has made me stronger and happier.
Before you came into my life, there wasn’t much to me – I was an average guy with an average life – I was down to earth, but there was a sadness in my heart. I was missing something. Today, I realized exactly what I was missing. It was you. Now that you are here with me, I feel as if my life is complete – I no longer feel as if I am missing something. When I go home at night, from work, I am happy, because I know there is someone that will be waiting for me. In the past, when I went home after work, I went home to an empty house – surely, you could relate to me on this filling.
Every day, when I am at work, I wonder what you’re doing – I imagine me sitting next to you and cannot wait to get home to you so I can give you a big kiss. Every day, it is you that I look forward to and it is you that makes my life worth living. Honestly, I don’t know what I would ever do without you.
I love you and I will always love you from the bottom of my heart.
Love always,

S.

The man thats loves you to the day he dies

Dear E,

So, I was thinking about you, and how much you mean to me. I started to wonder how I could tell you. I thought maybe I could buy you roses, but rose are so cliché.

Then I thought about playing a song for you on my guitar, but I dont know how to play. I was going to take you to see Beauty and the Beast, but you have already seen that movie.

I was really at a loss to what I should do. I then thought I would buy a card for you, but I thought I could do something better.

Then I thought of a better idea. I would write you a letter. Only problem is I am not a writer.

I am not a writer, but when ever I look at you I am filled with words. I am not a dancer, but when I’m with you I move and groove.

I am not a pilot, but your love makes me fly high. I am not an actor, but being with you makes me understand Shakespeare.

I don’t know karate or crazy, but if someone were to mess with you I’d learn both. I am not a cook but you are so hot I can cook anything.

I am just a boring man, yet you are the woman that makes me want to climb mountains, fly jet planes, and do flips, just to see you.

When I am with you I feel like a prize winning boxer, a movie star, a rock star, even a sex symbol. You raise me up when I am down.

I am a slob, but when you are around I clean up… Well, maybe not clean up. Maybe, I still don’t understand Shakespeare, and the words in my head are all gibberish.

All the dances I know are from the 90’s, I’m afraid of spiders, and I don’t have the time or money to learn Karate or Crazy. I still think you are special.

You are more special than my crappy writing. You are more special than my two left feet. You are way more special than Shakespeare. You are special because you are with me.

Uniquely Yours,

The man that loves you to the day he dies.

Dear E

                                                                                                                           May 2
Dear E,

I just wish you were here right now so I could tell you this,

I  am your home and I am going to miss you so much. I am going to miss the little things you do like calling me Papi or Baby. I am going to miss being able to hold you, kiss you, everything about you. You just don't know what you do to me; every time I see you I feel complete, every time you smile I feel bliss, every time I talk to you it makes my day. But not knowing if I'll ever hold you, look into your eyes and kiss you again scare's the hell out of me.

My heart aches at the thought of not being with you. I cherish the time we spend together - every laugh, every kiss, talking, putting our hands together. I cherish you, I am beyond lucky and I'm so glad I found you. I would give anything just for you to be in my arms; without you I feel so empty. When I'm with you there is just this feeling, my heart starts to beat faster I just feel so good like I can fly. It's like all the love flows through me.

When you come back to me to hold you, I will feel so complete and I will love holding you and I will never want to let go. I want to hold you and tell you everything's going to be okay, I want to comfort you. I know you have been hurt before and so have I and I never want to hurt you. I want to hold you and make the bad feelings go away, yours and mine. I want to hold you and make you feel safe, protected, supported, loved. When I am going to hold you it's like nothing else matters except you and me…I want to take you to a place, where time stops and there's nothing to worry about except you and me - the important things in life. I want to talk more about you and the troubles you're going through so I can help you, even more, I want to be with you so you can forget them and put your mind at ease so you don't stress out about everything.

We have all the time in the world to talk or do whatever. I wish I could take you somewhere just you and me so we could relax and be free and forget about all our troubles. So I can treat you like a you are like you are my queen, the way you should always be treated. You are my queen. How can I tell you, you mean more to me than life itself? I love you more than life and each passing day. Just loving you has its own rewards, I never want to fight or argue with you, I just want to love you.

Every time I'm away from you I feel so empty. I think that's why I push for us to be together when you don't have any free time. It is unbearable, all these miles away from you feeling empty inside, wanting to fly to you but can't because of our schedules, I feel so bad because of that. I am just trying to make up for lost time. I wanted to be with you so bad it hurts. Each minute away from you feels like an eternity. I am so far gone in love with you.

I hurt when you hurt, when you're sad I feel it. When you're depressed I'm depressed. I love you so much and I don't hate when you're sad, I want you to be happy like you have made me and I'm so glad I found you. I would do anything to see you smile. I wish I could take away all the troubles in your life. But all I can do is comfort you and support you and be here if you need me, but I wish I could do more for you. I want/need to help you.

Love is not just saying I love you or something to that special person, it's so much more than that. It's helping, supporting, being there for them, standing by their side no matter what happens and doing anything you can for them, forgive and forget whatever mistakes they made and that's what I want to do for you, Babe. I wish I could hold you and comfort you and make you feel comfortable and happy. I can only hope the things I do, say and write bring you happiness like you have given me. You are my heart and if I can do anything to please you, I will.

You mean so much to me and I'm lucky to have you. I cherish the ground you walk on, I cherish everything about you, and I cherish you. You mean everything to me, you are special to me and you make me so happy and I feel so free when I'm around you. You're always on my mind. I think of you everyday, sometimes when I see something or hear a song, I think of you.

I think about you all the time and I worry about you. I always wonder how you feel, how you're doing, what you're doing. I don't want you to have to go through that alone, you may think you have to go at that alone but that's not true. I'm here to help you, I want to support you and I worry about that. I don't want you to worry or be depressed or be stressed out about something. I want to help you and comfort you; I want to try to make you as happy as you make me. You mean the world to me. All I want to do is hold you and love you and make all your troubles go away, I wish I could tell you this in person.

I just want to make you so happy, so happy that you would feel as though you could fly. Babe, let's make this work, lets find a way to make our dreams a reality. To live together, to get married, have children, grow old, and love each other like each day is our last.  I need you ... my heart needs you and I feel so empty without you.

Love always,

S.

Words from my heart

Querido Big B.

Tu llevas tiempo preguntando si yo volveré a escribir y muchas veces te he contestado que no sabría cuándo, que tal vez nunca vuelva a escribir. Creo que ambos sabríamos que sería imposible porque estas palabras llegaron a mi como el viento que sopla del oriente hasta llegar a cada rincón más oscuro y solitario de mi habitación.

Tu estarás emocionado en saber que te hare inmortal en mis palabras, relájate nada malo saldrá de mis pensamientos. Saldrán cosas buenas y espero que estas palabras permanezcan siempre en nuestra memoria. Todo lo que escribo sale de mi corazón, espero que entiendas lo importante que es esto para mí.

Por donde debería empezar B. tal vez por cómo nos conocimos ¿debería decirle al mundo?, no. Es mejor guardarnos el secreto. Debería decirle como me miraste la primera vez que me viste, me viste como si fuera la primera y la única. Fue una sensación que aún permanece en mi estómago hasta el día de hoy. Porque cada vez que me miras haces que me pierda en tu sonrisa y en tus ojos. También debería revelar como me haces sonrojar, en el modo que tus chistes, complementos y tus locuras alteran mi ritmo cardiaco. Tu hace que mi corazón palpite rápido, que las risas no se detengan y que toda la sangre se acumule en mi rostro.

Eres el único que hace eso.

Cuando hace eso todo mi rostro se vuelve un tomate que arde al sol, ¿deberían saber lo mucho que te gusta hacer eso? Como te gusta provocarme, como te gusta que haga caras… bueno te gustan todas mis muecas menos verme llorar o triste.

La primera vez que me viste llorar pude ver la desesperación en tus ojos, deseabas tenerme en tus brazos. Querías protegerme y hacerme sentir segura, pero como podrías hacerme sentir con lo mucho que le tengo miedo al amor. ¿Cómo podrías amarme si soy una mala persona? No sé cómo lo haces, pero me quieres de una manera diferente a los demás. Bueno eso es lo que me dejas ver y me demuestras.

La primera que te vi, supe que no era como los demás. Fue un sentir raro en mi ser y todos los días me has demostrado que no tengo la razón. Que siempre estoy errónea sobre los hombres…que aún hay hombres buenos. Porque eres una persona que me brinda tranquilidad, sonrisas y alguna cosita que aun yo no puedo entender.

Yo lo entiendo todo, pero contigo es frustrante no entender lo que pasa entre nosotros, lo que sucede en mí y lo que pasa por tu cabeza.

Algunas personas me han preguntado que siento por ti y hasta ahora no sabría cómo explicarlo y yo no se lo quiero explicar al mundo ¿Por qué debería? Es mi pequeño y muy agradable secreto. Lo que yo siento por ti… es que simplemente yo lo quiero compartir contigo y solamente contigo…. Pero antes de dormir me pongo a pensar que pasaría si no eres tan bueno como te presentas ante mis ojos. Tengo miedo que me lastimes y que me rompas como los demás. No quiero sentirme así contigo porque no es justo para ti porque no tienes la culpa del daño que me han hecho. Me digo a mi misma que debo luchar contra mis propios demonios y dejar que me quieras. Que yo debo descubrir que eres real, que eres sincero y bueno. Todo esto me resulta como un cuento de hadas.

¿Que eres para mí?

Tu eres lo que tanto yo buscaba en mis sueños, lo que tanto pedía y suplicaba a tantas almas.

En ocasiones durante el día, mientras conduzco, cuando estoy ocupada o simplemente cuando mi cuerpo funciona voluntariamente divago en mi imaginación. Imagino mi mano sobre la tuya, el calor que puede sentir mi mano junto a la tuya… ¿me sudaran las manos si nos tomamos las manos? ¿mi mano será más pequeña que la tuya? Aun no lo sé y eso me da mucha curiosidad.

También me pongo a imaginar las cosas que podríamos hacer juntos, ir a la playa a escuchar las olas bailar a un ritmo anormal, ir al Morro en San Juan a ver a los niños correr y jugar mientras tu y yo disfrutamos de un helado. ¿Cuál sería tu sabor? Mi helado tendría como sabor el coco y la parcha. ¿te gustaría la parcha? Buena pregunta. La parcha es agria y dulce al mismo tiempo; tal vez podríamos ir a cenar en un restaurante frente al mar.

¿Qué haríamos en ese restaurante?

 Tal vez hacer todo al revés, comer el postre primero y las siguientes comidas en un orden que volvería loco al mesero. Tal vez de esa cena ir a caminar en la arena, ¿sostendrías mis zapatos mientras me tomas del brazo? Si me da frio ¿me darías tu abrigo o me darías calor con tus brazos grandes?

Junto a ti me veo tan pequeña y frágil, siento que podrías defenderme físicamente, pero ¿podrías defender mi corazón? Eso no lo sabemos aún, porque tengo tanto miedo y no sé qué nos espera el futuro. Porque yo soy como la luna, cambio constantemente no soy neutral. No está en mi naturaleza ser la misma, ser constante y simple. Al contrario, mi naturaleza me pide a grito que sea diferente, espontánea y liberal y supongo que es lo que más te gusta a ti de mí. No soy como esas chicas de tu cuidad o de los suburbios, soy una chica de una isla muy pequeña y divertida.

Así me siento cuando estoy contigo libre, aunque sienta una conexión muy fuerte y real.

Siento que puedo ser yo misma contigo, que puedo decir cualquier estupidez y que no me vas a juzgar. Siempre que nos reímos son de cosas que tienen que ver con el uno y con el otro. Son risas llenas de inocencia y cariño, nosotros no vemos maldad entre nosotros. Junto a ti estoy aprendiendo a ser comunicativa, mas bondadosa y mas compresiva. Me estas enseñando a perdonar y a seguir adelante, gracias.

Me gusta las caras que haces y tus expresiones faciales porque me hacen que me olvide de los problemas y de las cosas malas que me pasan por la cabeza. Cuando hablamos haces que se me olvide todo, los problemas, el dolor y las preocupaciones.

Las pesadillas casi no me molestan y los recuerdos ya casi me resultan indiferente, cuando me siento triste con tu sonrisa haces que yo vuelva a ti.

Tu sonrisa me encanta, tus pecas, tus ojos que son como mar con su tono verdoso y azulado al mismo tiempo y sin contar esos atributos físico que me resultan… no lo pienso decir (mis mejillas están teñidas rojas). Me gustas mucho chico, cada vez quiero decir lo mucho que te quiero.

Enserio, ¡te quiero muchooooo!

Ya quiero probar tus labios carnosos, sentir tu calor emerger de tu cuerpo, me encantaría sentir tus manos sobre la mías y yo quiero escuchar tu corazón latir. Quiero hacer esas cosas de parejas contigo, esas cosas que nunca he hecho. Quiero acostarme a tu lado y despertar a tu lado, tu agarrándome de la cintura, tu respiración en mi cuello y tus ronquidos sonando en toda la habitación. Quiero que veas más de mí, mi mundo y todo lo que no has visto de este mundo. Quiero que pongas tu oído sobre mi pecho, quiero que escuches mi respiración y como late mi corazón. Tal vez escuches pedazos rotos y un corazón jodido, pero con ganas de latir.

En este momento yo estoy aprendiendo amar nuevamente, a confiar y hacer estas cosas de pareja. Por lo tanto, tu eres mi maestro y yo tu más inquieta alumna.

Tú también te preguntaras como yo:

¿Cómo puedo quererte?

 ¿Cómo puedes provocar todos esos sentimientos?

 ¿Cómo puedes?

Esas respuestas solo la tenemos para nosotros mismo.

En ocasiones pienso que te divierte el saber lo que provocas en mí, todo lo que provocas en mí son cosas buenas, raras y nuevas en mí. ¿Qué provoco yo en ti?, por favor no respondas.

Me da miedo el saber lo que piensas de mí, porque todo en ti es un misterio. Eso es lo que me gusta de ti, no eres como los demás. Me dejas esperando más, tu no haces lo que quiero y no te dejas intimidar. Siempre me sorprendes y nunca haces lo que espero. Tu siempre estás buscando la manera de volverme loca con emociones, con tus locuras y con tu manera de ser. No te conformas con un “nada” (nothing) o un “enserio, no tengo nada”. Buscas la manera de que ese nada se algo, porque no te gusta que me guarde las cosas. Te gusta que sea libre, original y yo.

Todo de ti me gusta, incluso las cosas que usualmente no me gusta de los hombres, pero me gusta en ti. Me gusta que seas un adicto al trabajo y al gimnasio, que quieras verte mejor para mí, cuando ya lo eres. Estas como un 8.2 aun con tus defectos y si fueras un 6.5 aun así te estaría escribiendo porque lo que más me gusta de ti no es tu físico. Es la persona que eres, tranquila, honesta, dulce, graciosa, inteligente (eres muy inteligente, solo que tu inteligencia es diferente a la mía), fuerte, valiente porque lo soportas todo y arriesgado porque lo quieres intentar conmigo.

Aun sabiendo que estoy rota, sabiendo que mi corazón está muy jodido. Quieres intentarlo conmigo, se cuál es mi valor y cuan hermosa soy yo, pero no suficiente para que alguien este conmigo en este momento y aun así quieres arriesgarte. Eres un lunático por quererme y por aceptarme con mis defectos, mis cicatrices, mis problemas y mis demonios.

Ya perdí la cuenta de todas las veces que te digo “¿Que voy hacer contigo?” porque realmente no sé qué hacer con alguien como tú, alguien tan joven, tan sencillo y tan buen corazón. Tu corazón es mil veces mejor que el mío y por favor no demuestres modestias, porque sabes que es verdad.

Tal vez todo por ahora suena como un cuento de Disney, pero por ahora suena increíble para mí. Por favor has que sea permanente, que esto dure más allá del tiempo. No quiero volver a estar como estaba antes de conocerte. Me sentía perdida, triste y llena de odio, culpa y resentimiento, por favor sigue sacando lo mejor de mí.

Por favor no te vayas, quédate un poco más, aunque al final te vayas como todo el mundo hace en mi vida.

Mientras te quedas un rato más, quiéreme, acéptame y no me olvides.

Ps. Ya amaneció y aún no he visto tu sonrisa sincera, espero verte pronto.

Con toda sinceridad,

Con cariño,

Sin sarcasmo y

Con amor por vos…

S.

Bad Reputation- Shaw Mendes

She got a bad reputation
She takes the long way home
And all of my friends seen her naked
Or so the story goes
Mistakes we all make them
But they won't let it go, no
Cause she's got a bad reputation
But I know what they don't, hmm

And I don't care what they say about you baby
They don't know what you've been through
Trust me, I could be the one to treat you like a lady
Let me see what's underneath, all I need is you

She got a bad reputation
Nobody gets too close
A sight of a soul when it's breaking
Making my heart grow cold
And into the deeper she's sinking
I'm begging her please don't let go
She's got a bad reputation
But she's all that... all I want, though
Hmm, yeah

And I don't care what they say about you baby
They don't know what you've been through
And trust me, I could be the one to treat you like a lady
Let me see what's underneath, all I need is you

Ah, ah, ah, ooh
Ah, ah, ah, ooh

Nobody knows the way that I, I know her, said
Nobody knows the weight that's on her shoulders, said
Nobody knows the way that I, I know her, said
She got a bad, she got a bad

Nobody knows the way that I, I know her, said
Nobody knows the weight that's on her shoulders, said
Nobody knows the way that I, I know her, said
She got a bad, she got a bad

And I don't care what they say about you baby
They don't know what you've been through
Trust me, I could be the one to treat you like a lady
Let me see what's underneath, all I need is you

And I don't care what they say about you baby
They don't know what you've been through
Trust me, I could be the one to treat you like a lady
Let me see what's underneath, all I need is you

She got a bad reputation
She takes the long way home

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Me gusta esta cancion porque nadie me conoce pero mi reputacion es mas grande de lo que deberia ser:

Soy una puta 

soy una mandona

soy una mala persona

soy una mujer misteriosa
soy un tumor
soy un demonio
soy un ser sin alma

soy todo eso o tal vez sea menos de lo que todos piensan...

solo digo las apariencias engañan :)

Linda noche

Moon by Anomima

Y las estrellas brillaban aquella noche como nunca antes lo habían hecho en la vida. El color negro de la noche era opaco por esas pequeñas y hermosas estrellas. Y la luna, la luna empezaba a brillar por encima de las estrellas. Grande, y con un brillo muy especial. Era una noche de esas en las que todos parecían ser felices, calurosa con una suave brisa que daba una gran calma, hasta los más solitarios podrían sentirse en compañía estando solos. Sin duda esa sería la noche perfecta para las parejas más enamoradas, no es extraño mirarlas tomándose de la mano, algunos tienen que hacerlo a escondidas, otras lo hacen en medio de toda la gente que les rodea y algunas otras prefieren simplemente rosarse la mano para después deshacer el agarre. Algunos otros preferían la soledad de la noche para admirar la belleza de las estrellas y de la luna. Parejas, solteros, divorciados, no importaba, lo que importaba era la paz que aquella noche transmitía.

Recordar las cosas más hermosas mientras observabas la luna era una sensación muy hermosa, o desahogarse mientras miras el firmamento era un alivio para el alma, incluso era más efectivo que el consejo de algún amigo en especial.
Muchas noches han sido tristes para algunos. Llenos de desesperación, de un aire irrespirable como si alguien hubiera tapado el ambiente y la naturaleza con un plato para cereal. Algunas veces las personas son como zombies. Caminan por impulso, hablan por inercia pero no sienten, no aman, no sonríen y no tienen el mínimo sentimiento. Pero, esa noche representaba algo especial, un cambio de aire. Una noche en especial y no solo por el brillo de las estrellas y de la luna, era especial porque las personas la habían hecho especial.
Gente de todas partes del mundo observaban el cielo para admirar la hermosura de la luna, para pedirle deseos o simplemente un consejo. ¿Hablar con la luna?, se puede escuchar de locos, pero no. Es algo natural, algo que todos en algún momento de la vida hacemos sin importar la edad, sexo o religión. Muchas veces nos decían, que si tenemos algún problema lo consultemos con la luna o con las estrellas, y ahora lo hacemos de a diario. No, no era la luna, no eran las estrellas o no era el hermoso color negro de la noche. Era el amor, los sentimientos de bondad, de amistad, la sinceridad de la gente la que la hacían especial.

Esa noche, la primera de la primavera significaba un cambio en la vida de todos, todos estaban dispuestos a ser felices, amar, ser amados, y sobre todo estaban comprometidos a amar la vida y adorar cada noche a la LUNA

Pronto en el mes de marzo

Escribiré pronto después que mi salud mejore, muchos han enviado mensajes muy positivos. Leí todos sus mensajes y me han ayudado un pcoo.  Quiero escribir cosas buenas y alegres.

Escribiré sobre lo que pienso del amor,  sobre una persona que veo en mis sueños, mis miedos y sobre mis 13 razones( me deje llevar el libro " Por treces razones") y también otras cosas.

Gracias por el apoyo, gracias por recordarme que escribir es lo mejor y gracias a ti que me diste una razón para luchar por mi.

30 Lugares que quiero ir y algunas razones simples.

1. Roma, Italia

2.Paris, Francia

3. Atenas, Grecia (Ruinas)

4. Hawái, USA

5. Tokio, Japón

6. Seattle, Washington

7. Berlín, Alemania (El muro)

8. Verona, Italia

9. Valenciano de Buñol, España. (La Tomatina)

10. Escocia, Reino Unido (castillos históricos)

11. Barcelona, España (Sagrada Familia)

12. Londres, Reino Unido

13. Canal de panamá, panamá

14. Dublín, Irlanda (Año bisiesto)

15. Cancún, México

16. Pittsburg, Filadelfia (juego de los piratas)

17 Vancouver, Canadá

18. Puebla, México

19. Lexington, Kentucky

20. Isla Canaria, España

21. Rio de Janeiro, Brasil

22. Aracataca, Colombia (casa de Gabriel García Márquez)

23. Boston, Usa (Juego de las medias rojas)

24. Ecuador 0*

25. Lisboa, Portugal

26. República Dominicana (Casa de las hermanas Mirabal)

27. Barbados (festival de la cosecha)

28. Nueva Zelandia

29. África (servicio humanitario)

30. Canberra, Australia 

Happiness by Anonymous

¿Qué es la felicidad?, tal vez y la pregunta no tenga una respuesta fija. Tal vez la felicidad es una palabra que la gente invento para definir pequeños momentos donde uno puede tener un momento de paz interna.
Desde que somos niños se nos dice que tenemos que ser feliz, disfrutar la vida sin preocupaciones. Y, en muchas ocasiones a los mayores se les olvida que la vida no es fácil y que aquellos pequeños crecerán y se darán cuenta de ello.
¿Qué pasa cuando desde pequeño se te complica ser feliz?, ¿Qué pasa cuando tus únicos momentos donde puedes ser feliz se llenan de temor al instante porque sabes que esto solo es pasajero y de un momento a otro la felicidad se desvanece entre tus manos?
Recuerdo que cuando era una niña de unos seis años esperaba a crecer. De cumplir los sueños que nos venden los adultos. De convertirme en una linda adolescente, ser feliz, ser una joven ejemplar, etc. De esa niña solo quedan fotografías, no sé en qué momento mi vida se convirtió en una mierda. Tengo razones por cuales debo sonreír, y de creer en la felicidad, más sin embargo no soy ni la mitad de la chica feliz. Envidio a aquellas chicas que son felices por la simple razón de que yo no lo sea.
¿Qué que le diría a mi yo de 6 años?, que la vida no es como ella se esperaba, que es linda a su modo pero que las cosas no son tan sencillas. Le advertiría sobre la ansiedad, sobre la sensación de una navaja en sus brazos, sobre el insomnio, sobre el odiar su cuerpo. Le abrazaría para que sintiera que ella no está sola y le hablaría sobre confiar en la gente y sobre todo le pediría que tuviera fortaleza.
Si pudiera igual estar frente a mi yo de 15 años le diría que a pesar de sentirse sola no lo está. Que el alivio que siente con cada corte no es verdadero. Que el cuerpo que tiene es excelente y que el valor de una persona no está en el peso ni en lo que la báscula marque, le pediría que dejará de fingir ser dura y que demostrara a todos lo que sufre al no sentir ser parte de su entorno, le pediría que dejara de engañar con su falsa sonrisa y que dijera que se siente bien y que está bien cuando no es así, le diría que fuera feliz…
Y por último si puedo encontrarme con mi yo del futuro estoy segura que preguntaría si después de todo mi pasado, de mis guerras y batallas personales y de todos mis demonios internos, ¿Todo estará bien?, ¿Yo sería feliz como siempre he querido?... Mi yo del futuro espero que después de tanto todo este bien al fin, porque merecemos encontrar esta felicidad, porque yo sé que a pesar de todo LA FELICIDAD EXISTE…

Me contagie

Sin ti yo no me siento bien amarte de mil en cien viviendo y por dentro muerto hasta eso un ciego ve

Antes eramos dos y ahora somos tres con tu foto en la pared, de la soledad también me enamore me contagie

(Y esta es mi respuesta )

Un llanto amargo hoy sale de mi por que hoy no estas junto a mi me parte el alma al saber que piensas que aquí afuera no pienso en ti dices que eramos dos y ahora que somos tres pero te equivocas por que de esas misma soledad me enamore somos cuatro me contagie

Tal vez para ti para muchos yo ya te olvide, pero no yo te amo y te espero y aquí aún sigo

De pie

Ver los Segundos correr con el corazón y no mirar revés

Aquí te esperare tu sabes que esto es Hasta la muerte bebe

A mi no me detendrá la distancia que me separe de ti

Yo se que esto es real y permaneceré esperando por ti

Y mis brazos extenderé cuando te vea caminar 

hacia a mi te diré que te amo y que valió la pena esperar mi amor por ti

*Nota aclaratoria no soy fanática de Aanuel, pero la respuesta de su esposa me gustó mucho. Esta canción me hace pensar en las veces que espere a las personas menos indicadas, todo por amor. Todos tienen una manera de auto destruirse o simplemente buscan demostrar que no están erróneos.

suerte a esta mujer. 

Carta de Beethoven a su "amada inmortal"

Incluso cuando estoy en cama mis pensamientos van a hacia ti, mi eternamente querida, ahora y entonces alegremente, después otra vez tristemente, esperando para saber si el Destino oirá nuestra plegaria, para hacer frente a vida que debo vivir en conjunto contigo o nunca verte. Sí, estoy resuelto a ser un extranjero vagabundo hasta que pueda volar a tus brazos y decir que he encontrado mi hogar verdadero con usted y envuelto en tus brazos puedo dejar que mi alma flote hasta el reino de almas bendecidos. Ay!, desafortunadamente debe ser así. Debes estar tranquila, tanto más pues sabes que te soy fiel; ninguna otra mujer podrá nunca poseer mi corazón, nunca, nunca. Oh Dios, por qué debe uno ser separado de aquella que le es tan querida. Para más, mi vida en Viena es actualmente desgraciada.Tu amor me ha hecho el más feliz y el más infeliz de los mortales. A mi edad necesito estabilidad y regularidad en mi vida, puede esto coexistir con nuestra relación? Ángel, acabo de oír que va el correo cada día, y por lo tanto debo cerrar ésta, de modo que puedas recibirla la inmediatamente. Mantente tranquila; solamente al considerar tranquilamente nuestras vidas podremos alcanzar nuestro propósito de vivir juntos. Mantente tranquila, amame, hoy, ayer. Qué nostalgia llena de lágrimas por tí, por tí, por tí, mi vida, mi todo. Todos los buenos deseos a tí. Oh, continúa amándome, nunca juzgues mal el corazón fiel de tu amado.


Siempre tuyo


Siempre mía


Siempre de ambos